I was thinking … Thinking has more to do with changing our attitude, but action is helpful in making the attitude change. In desiring a change in thinking which leads to a change of action, it is helpful to “remember the days of old.” It is good for me to take out a journal and begin to write the times I remember God met my needs. When I was going through a very tough time of accepting the actions of a family member that caused my sweetheart and I to resign from serving in our church because our family wasn’t in order and it seemed that all that we as a family had worked for was out-the-door, I would walk around the room with my hands lifted as if stretching upward and I would state out loud, “I don’t know how You are going to work in this situation for Your glory and our good, but I know You will. You have never let us down before and I know You will not now. Help me be found faithful praising and trusting You Oh Lord. I thank You for what You are going to do.” I took my journal and began to write all the times I could remember that He had graciously blessed and all the many things I could list as a “thank you.” I repented and chose to trust Him to work it out and I would attempt to develop grateful thinking. It was a freeing time for me that He was in control even of this horrible situation. After four years of walking in sadness but praising Him and trusting Him to work it out, God blessed our family in ways that could never have been before. God wants us to have a change of attitude and repent from our wrong thinking of sour grapes and blame. He wants us to acquire right thinking and an attitude of trusting Him. I enjoy reflecting back on the many times God has blessed our family and most of them are the little daily things that we can so easily overlook. Like the beautiful sunshine that favors us each morning in Southern California. God is so good.  How many things can you list right now to thank Him for and choose good thinking? How many times has God blessed you? It is good to journal the times we remember we were praising Him for His care in our lives. It is good to remember that “first love.” We tend to forget. The similar kind of thinking and remembering goes into our marriage health also. Remember when your heart throbbed for your sweetheart? Remember? So much fun to go back and remember. See more in Brides Psalm 143. Our marriage can have a change of attitude too. What do you think?

Psalm 143: 5,6 (NAS) Repent

I remember the days of old; I meditate on all Your doings; I muse on the work of Your hands. I stretch out my hands to You; My soul longs for You, as a parched land. Selah.

This Psalm is about repenting when we are confronted with sin. When we repent with heartfelt remorse and chose to be obedient to His leading, we are blessed. Psalm 18:20 tells us that He blesses our tiniest obedience. Remember the days of that “first love” when we wanted to yell on the rooftops about our salvation and what our wonderful God has done for us? We need to think on this love. Our soul longs for it again and again.

In desiring a change in thinking which leads to a change of action, it is helpful to “remember the days of old.” It is good to take out a journal and begin to write the times we remember God met our needs. It is good to journal the times we remember we were praising Him for His care in our lives. It is good to remember that “first love.” We tend to forget.

Our marriages need it too. As we grow closer to the Lord with renewed love, the overflow is to those around us. It is meaningful for a couple to go for a walk, hold hands and reminisce. A bride can be the initiator. If he is lazy at hold hands, she can take his hand. He will be warmed by her touch. Men talk better while looking ahead, doing something together rather than sitting down and staring at each other. Brides can learn to reach out and begin the “remember when” days. 

Remembering, meditating, and musing on all He has done for us, creates a passionate love and deep desire to know Him more. What is it like in a parched land? Just drive into the desert during the heat of August and sit for an hour and experience the dried up land. Oh how sad to allow our souls to enter such a place away from God. Pause and think of that. Such truth can be applied to our marriages even if they have become like a parched land.

O gracious and holy Father, give us wisdom to perceive You, intelligence to understand You, diligence to seek You, patience to wait for You, and a life to proclaim you; through the power of the Spirit of Jesus Christ our Lord. Benedict

I ask myself:

1. Do I long for closeness with God? Do I focus on the sweet times with Him?
2. Do I long for closeness with my husband? How can I create this closeness?
3. Do I trust God to work in my marriage? I only have to do my part.

Marriage is “Joy unspeakable and full of glory.”

Nahum 1:7 God is good!

I was thinking … My attitude has so much to do with my “feelings” of happy or that I have a good marriage or life is good or it stinks. God wants me to have an attitude of gratefulness. A thankful attitude opens the door to Christ presence. He has promised to always be with me yet has given us the freedom of choice. Thankfulness is built on a substructure of trust. When thankful words stick in my throat, I need to check up on my attitude of thankfulness and trust in Him. My attitude of gratefulness can draw me close to Him or a bad attitude of complaining can push me away. A grateful attitude will cushion the impact of trials when they come, and they will.  An attitude of thankfulness can do so much  for my “feeling” of happy or sad. When discouragement begins to fill my mind, I quickly begin to verbalize the things I am grateful for and I usually begin with “thank you Lord for my salvation so rich and free.” As I continue with being grateful, my attitude changes and I remember how very trustworthy God is.  See more in Brides at Psalm 142. How do you check your attitude? What do you think?

Psalm 142: 7 (NAS) Attitude

Bring my soul out of prison, so that I may give thanks to Your name; The righteous will surround me, for You will deal bountifully with me."

Acceptance of this truth can set brides free from fear and anxiety in relationship with husbands. When circumstances in marriage create the feeling of living in a prison (“he is so controlling”), and our prayers are desperate for help, we can always give thanks for we are never alone. God will deliver us. An attitude of: “What would glorify God the most?” is a key for looking above the circumstances and hoping not as the world hopes but with the hope we have in Christ.

Philippians 4:8 tells us that when we are in such circumstances, to think on whatever honorable, whatever is is right, whatever is pure, and whatever is lovely; whatever is of good repute…anything worthy of praise, we are to let our minds dwell on these things. Very challenging to do in a time of hurt and pain. But deciding to focus on the good, clean and pure around us, can help us to calm and wise godly choices.

Attitude is a choice we make. We may not feel like choosing this attitude but much (secular) research has been done to prove that making this choice can revive us to think more clearly, respond in a more godly way, and rise above our circumstances quicker.

God, of your goodness give me Yourself for You are sufficient for me. I cannot properly ask anything less, to be worthy of You. If I were to ask less, I should always be in want. In You alone do I have all. Julian of Norwich

I ask myself:

1. Have I sought You instead of complaining?
2. Am I willing to focus on the good, clean, and the pure?
3. Do I trust the Lord to deal bountifully with me?

Marriage is “Joy unspeakable and full of glory.”

Nahum 1:7 God is good!

I was thinking … How many times have we women been tempted to be wooed away from the truths we so love for a moments pleasure. I believe we are never too old to be lured into the trap of sexual temptation. Psalm 141 tells us that God knows and He is there to strengthen and protect us and that He provides well for our ability to stay pure to our marriage. See Psalm 141 for more. See if you have been tempted such as this bride I describe. What do you think? This Psalm tells us to pray that God will guard our lips and our mouth, that God protect us from any evil thing, and from those who do evil. There are times when a bride is enticed to wickedness and she is captured before she realizes how subtly she was drawn in. If we aren’t careful, the temptation to wickedness will meet the price. Oh the grief. Oh the destruction of innocent by standers. Let us be found faithful. We gave our vows before a holy God. Let us remember the command to obey. God is good and in all His ways are good and everything He does is good. Character is who we are in the closets of our lives. See Psalm 141. What do you think?

Psalm 141: 2 (NAS)

May my prayer be counted as incense before You; The lifting up of my hands as the evening offering.

“Prayer is the great engine to overthrow and rout my spiritual enemies, the great means to procure the graces of which I stand in hourly need.” (Charles H. Spurgeon)

The prayer of a bride for her marriage and husband is precious in God’s sight. We call upon Him and He hurries to help; He hears when we call. Nothing is too hard for God. No concern is too small, and nothing too big. He cares, He hears, He responds.

This Psalm tells us to pray that God will guard our lips and our mouth, that God protect us from any evil thing, and from those who do evil. There are times when a bride is enticed to wickedness and she is captured before she realizes how subtly she was drawn in. If we aren’t careful, the temptation to wickedness will meet the price.

He was tanned by the daily sun exposure while on the tennis court. She had seen him and thought him to be kind and thoughtful (not to mention he was very handsome) and he often commented on her game. She caught him watching her play. His attention caused her to want to perform better. She enjoyed his applause. Her husband also played tennis but was critical and neglected to give her the affirmation she craved. After twenty-seven years, this bride walked out of her marriage. He (the other man) could give her what she needed. Another church family destroyed by the temptations of the world. Temptation revealed her character. Character is who we are in the closets of our lives.

May our prayer be sweet incense unto the nostrils of our Lord and Savior (Ephesians 5:2).         

I ask myself:

1. Have I asked the Lord to protect my marriage?
2. Do I pray for the protection of my husband at work?
3. Do I ask the Lord to guard my lips and my marriage?

Marriage is “Joy unspeakable and full of glory.”

Nahum 1:7 God is good!

I was thinking … Life is at times a battle. Whether it is the challenge of health or relationships or duties. It can seem at times to be a battle. It seems that circumstances either make us or break us…mold us or cause us to crumble. I was thinking … if this God who has reached all the  way from heaven and chosen us to be His child can take us to heaven to live eternally with Him in Joy unspeakable and full of glory, why do we doubt that He will be with us in the daily battles we are fighting? If God is on our side, who can be against us? Brides fight a battle daily. It is comforting to know that our loving God is with us and His mercies are new every day. See more in Psalm 140. What do you  think? How do you keep your  armor on, daily?

Psalm 140:13 (NAS) Battle

Surely the righteous will give thanks to Your name; The upright will dwell in Your presence.

The more danger that appears, the more earnest we brides should be in prayer to God. All are safe whom the Lord protects. If He be for us, who can be against us? We should especially watch and pray that the Lord would hold up our goings in His ways that our footsteps slip not. God is able to keep us from danger. We can depend on Him.

“Burning coals fall upon them” (Psalm 140:10). Romans 12:20 says that if your enemy is hungry, feed him, and if he is thirsty, give him a drink; for in so doing you will “heap burning coals on his head.” The first mentioned is for punishment and the last for kindness. What kind of coals do we apply to our husband?

“Let us never despair while we have Christ as our leader!” (George Whitefield)

Circumstances either make us or break us…mold us or cause us to crumble. If God is on our side, who can be against us? Brides fight a battle daily. It is comforting to know that our loving God is with us and His mercies are new every day.

“God never abandons anyone on whom He has set His love; nor does Christ the Good Shepherd ever lose track of His sheep.” (J. I. Packer)

As a bride, once we are rooted in reality, nothing can shake us. If our faith is in experiences, any circumstances can shake us, but if our faith is based on the reality of redemption and our eternal security, we will be steadfast, always abounding, because we know our reward comes from God. We will strive to do all to the glory of God. This, too, includes our “fitting” as a bride.

I ask myself:

1. Am I under the circumstances allowing them to snuff out my very breadth? Or, am I willing to focus on God’s redemptive work and rest in His peace?

Marriage is “Joy unspeakable and full of glory.”

Nahum 1:7 God is good!

  I was thinking … Basic communication guidelines would help us greatly in giving our input to our hubby. They are:

1. Find the right time. Planning is important. Men need small sound bites and not a lot of dialogue. I am a woman of many words and it takes practice to give a few when giving input to my hubby.
2. Choose the right issue. Brides tend to have a list of grievances and dump them all on the table in one platter.
3. Act out of the right motive. This is a toughie because we tend to get all huffy and hurt and we must think about the why of what we want to say.
4. Be sensitive to the right prompting. Careful consideration is important because we tend to act our of our feelings. Try not to speak when angry. A soft answer turns away wrath. We need to think before we speak.
5. Speak in the right manner. How we say something is more important that what we say. Honey always gets more than vinegar.

Although these are basic skills, in the heat of the moment we forget. It helps a bride to understand that a man is a conqueror. A man’s mission is to subdue the earth, to gain mastery over the forces of nature. He competes and does battle with fellowmen. He seeks status and proves his worth by acquiring and exercising power. He, too, shows love but shows his love by working, by conquering the world. A woman is a lover. Love is a man’s life apart, but it is a woman’s existence. For her, to love (and to be loved) is to live. She finds fulfillment in taking care of her family’s needs and in demonstrating affection. She, too, is a conqueror, but conquers by means of personal love. See more in Brides Psalm 139. What do you think?

Psalm 139: 23,24 (NAS) Conquer

Search me, O God, and know my heart; Try me and know my anxious thoughts;
And see if there be any hurtful way in me, and lead me in the everlasting way.

It will behoove a bride to read this complete psalm as soon as possible. What a tremendous blessing is there for us as we ponder and apply these words to our lives personally and in our marriages.

Steven Lawson said that the greatness of God is infinitely vast. His majesty far exceeds man’s ability to comprehend Him…yet this infinite God is intimately aware of every individual on the planet.

God knows each of us intimately. He knows our strengths and our weaknesses. He knows what we need as a bride and gives us clear direction. When we follow His plan, all goes well; when we don’t…the result is not so good.

Sometimes brides fail to see the application of Scripture telling us over five times that we are to “fit into our own husband’s ways.” It never tells him to fit into our ways. Oops!

It helps a bride to understand that a man is a conqueror. A man’s mission is to subdue the earth, to gain mastery over the forces of nature. He competes and does battle with fellowmen. He seeks status and proves his worth by acquiring and exercising power. He, too, shows love but shows his love by working, by conquering the world. A woman is a lover. Love is a man’s life apart, ‘tis woman’s existence. For her, to love (and to be loved) is to live. She finds fulfillment in taking care of her family’s needs and in demonstrating affection. She, too, is a conqueror, but conquers by means of personal love.

I ask myself:

1. Am I willing to ask God to search me and reveal my weaknesses?
2. Does my husband sense that I am fitting into his ways or challenging him?
3. Am I willing to demonstrate my love to my husband regardless of how he acts?

Marriage is “Joy unspeakable and full of glory.”

Nahum 1:7 God is good!