I was thinking … It is so important that I carefully regulate my home to bring joy into the mix of everyday living. It is so important that I try to create a home of comfort and joy for my sweetheart to come home to. “Joy is the flag that flies over the castle of our hearts announcing that the king is in residence today.” Walter B. Knight.  I do this by peacefully organizing, orchestrating, and outwardly living in harmony with my sweetheart. See how I purpose to do this in Brides Psalm 101. How do you do it?

Psalm 101:1(NAS) Lovingkindness and Justice

I will sing of lovingkindness and justice, to You, O LORD, I will sing praises.

This psalm is telling us to regulate our household for mercy and judgment. We see that both are good in their own way. It is like rain and sunshine. We as wives carefully regulate our homes and bring joy into the mix of everyday living and bring joy to the heart of our husband. Joy is a winsome magnet that draws people in because it is one thing they do not have.

Joy is the flag that flies over the castle of our hearts announcing that the king is in residence today. [Walter B. Knight, Knight’s Master Book of New Illustrations]

We bring joy into our home by peacefully organizing, orchestrating, and outwardly living in harmony with our husband. One way to do this is to pray for him. This is the most important aspect of being his helper, completer, his tailor-made love gift. We are his prayer warrior. Colossians 1:9 says to pray that he be filled with godly wisdom and knowledge.

We ask our friends and loved ones, “How can I pray for you today?” Why not ask our husband (the person closest to us), “How can I pray specifically for you today?” We can put joy in his step as he thinks about our praying specifically for him.

Our most important role as completer is to bring him before the throne of grace daily, moment by moment, and it is important that he know we are praying. It is a form of accountability. Praying for and about our husband brings about a proper view of him. It brings closeness comparable to none as we pray for his safety, his health, his spiritual growth, physical protection, and protection against the women of the world.

It is possible to move men through God by prayer alone. [J. Oswald Sanders, Spiritual Leadership]

I ask myself:

1. Do I regulate the loving-kindness and balance that with justice in my home?
2. Do I live in harmony with my husband?
3. Do I pray for him and about him daily?

Marriage is “Joy unspeakable and full of glory.”

Nahum 1:7 God is good!

I was thinking … According to Psalm 100, I am to cheerfully worship God. My motives are to be a matter of praise and joy as I look at His goodness, mercy and comfort. I serve a God who has provided everything I need for life including my marriage. I was thinking … It is amazing to me how a woman can say she is a Christian, and then tell me she is walking out on her marriage. Excuse me? Hmmmmmmmm something is wrong with this picture. It is amazing to me that wives can praise this wonderful loving God who has promised her eternal life yet can’t praise Him for working in her marriage. I don’t get it. I am seeing it more and more where wives (who say they are Christians) are taking action that is of the world. We are surprised when a neighbor who isn’t a Christian chooses to make her marriage work. Amazing. When a non-Christian walks away from her marriage or leaves her family (and children) we are grieved for the family, but we aren’t surprised because she is of the world. But when a woman who says she is a Christian walks away from her commitment to God, “before God and these people” I am baffled. We do so much in the name of the Lord that causes damage to His name and His ability to care for us (may it never be). I was thinking … I need to faithfully read His word and apply godly changes to my life (called obedience). I ask God to protect me from the influence of the world and to protect my sweetheart also. How do you protect your marriage? I was just thinking … I am sad for broken families but I am cheerfully worshiping God and my motives are to praise and joyfully look at His goodness, mercy and comfort.  See more in Brides, Psalm 100 …

Psalm 100: (NAS)

Shout joyfully to the LORD, all the earth. Serve the LORD with gladness; Come before Him with joyful singing. Know that the LORD Himself is God; It is He who has made us, and not we ourselves; We are His people and the sheep of His pasture.
Enter His gates with thanksgiving and His courts with praise give thanks to Him, bless His name. For the LORD is good; His lovingkindness is everlasting and His faithfulness to all generations.

We are to cheerfully worship God. Our motives are to be a matter of praise and joy as we look at His goodness, mercy and comfort. We serve a God who has provided everything we need for life including our marriage.

Living with a fallen “knight in shining armor” can be a challenge. We consider carefully if he is the right one for us before marriage, but after marriage he is the right one.

*Success is not so much marrying one who makes you happy as escaping the many who could make you miserable.

Our attention is not to focus on “he isn’t the right one” or “he doesn’t make me happy,” but as wives, our attention is to focus on how we complete him. One way we do this is to happily attend social events with him. We need to be willing to attend his business and family events and to welcome his friends cheerfully. Our Public Libraries contain a plethora of books on the subject of making conversation. We can learn pieces of information that help us contribute to a meaningful conversation. We can write down a phrase or sentence to ask another person and put it in our pocket to look at in our time of need. It is possible to communicate effectively in a group of people we have just met.

I ask myself:

1. When was the last time I reached out to his family? His friends?
2. Do I choose to focus on God and his sufficiency or wanting my way?
3. Do I happily attend his social events with him?

Marriage is “Joy unspeakable and full of glory.”

Nahum 1:7 God is good!

I was thinking … I am so different from my sweetheart and from most of my friends. I have learned that differences are okay. I like to learn from others and hopefully polish my strengths and chip away at my weaknesses (for which I have many). My thinking is that “if some thing is worth doing, it is worth doing right.” So I have a way and a reason for that way for every thing there is to do. Some of my friends believe that “life must be fun” and is more interested in visiting with people and playing games than cleaning house or doing laundry. Some seem to tackle life and believe we “just get it done” and they need to be leading, accomplishing tasks rather than just listening and encouraging others.  Then there are my friends who are forever saying, “I don’t care, whatever you want” to every decision – keeping peace at all cost. We are each different. My sweetheart needs a list of repairs around the house because he is task oriented. Some husbands feel overwhelmed in a messy house, others need things a little more relaxed, and others need to have an element of fun in their day.  As a student of my husband, I learned what makes him comfortable and practiced it until we reached a good compromise. I was thinking … When I began to understand what it meant to “fit into his ways” I was able to see life from his perspective. God has done a tremendous change in me (is still working on it actually). I still want things perfect and my way. What about you? See more in Brides Psalm 99 …

Psalm 99:9 (NAS) Holy is the Lord

Exalt the LORD our God and worship at his holy mountain, for the LORD our God is holy.

We exalt the Lord with our lips, but give Him the throne in our heart and while we worship Him upon His mercy-seat, let us never forget that he is holy.

It behooves us brides to recognize He will have His way with us and is using our husband in our marriage to refine us as pure gold.

We are each very different as wives. We cannot compare ourselves to another except to learn from the older women as Titus 2 exhorts us to do. We each have a motto with which we live life by. The “life must be fun” wife will be more interested in visiting with people and playing games than cleaning house or doing laundry. The “just get it done” wife needs to be leading, accomplishing tasks and telling others what to do rather than listening and encouraging others. The “if it’s worth doing, it’s worth doing right” wife has one way for everything and creates a perfect house where others don’t feel comfortable. The “I don’t care, whatever you want” wife drives others crazy trying to keep peace at all cost. We are each different. We married someone different than ourselves, however we are called to complete him – to be his helpmate. It is us wives that are called to “fit” into his ways, not our husbands who were called to fit into our ways.

One of the ways we “fit” or complete our husband is to keep our house comfortable for him, in spite of our “motto” to live life by. Keeping our house a restful place for him to come home to may be that the house be clean and tidy. We can learn practical tips for housekeeping by learning good time management techniques, skills and how to be organized and how to do tasks more efficiently.

Our husband has a “motto” for which he lives life also. Some feel overwhelmed in a messy house, others need things a little more relaxed, some need a list of repairs around the house, others like to sit and relax. As a student of our husband, we can learn what makes him comfortable and practice it until we reach a good compromise which makes the both of us satisfied.

We exalt the Lord by having a kind attitude as we are learning to fit and in all our ways we glorify Him (And whatsoever ye do, in word or in deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him Colossians 3:17 NAS).

I ask myself:

1. Am I willing to learn from older women how to temper my own likes and dislikes?
2. Am I willing to ask him what changes in the housekeeping would help him feel more comfortable?
3. Am I willing to practice doing all to glorify God and not myself?

Marriage is “Joy unspeakable and full of glory.”

Nahum 1:7 God is good!

I was thinking … I learned a new word for me, it is prating. Prating means useless, endless jabber. There are times my communication sounds more like prating. Many times it is the way I say something rather than what I say. Even the way I punctuate my sentence becomes a means of communication and my voice inflection in my statement. If I end a sentence with my voice in a question note it sounds whiny and weak and unconfident. If I end the same sentence with my voice inflection going down it is confident and sure and sounding like I have thought about it and it comes out more as a statement than a whiny question. Hmmmmm interesting. I want to practice that more. Communication isn’t whining. Communication is confident statements of facts and interest. I never thought much about communication until I made several very hurtful mistakes. Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh if I could just go back and redo. Can’t! Communication takes intentional planning. See more in Brides in Psalm 98. How do you communicate? What works for you? Have you made silly blunders.

Psalm 98:1a (NAS) Sing a New Song

O sing to the LORD a new song, for He has done wonderful things,

We sing a new song in our hearts and in our mouths. We sing songs of praise to God for the wonders He has done. May we be found in Him in peace, without spot, and blameless.

We have a great calling as a wife. We can demonstrate our love for our God and Savior through our obedience in our marriage – singing a new song. It may seem like a small thing, but the way we communicate with our husband demonstrates an act of obedience.

Many times it is the way we say something rather than what we say. Even the way we punctuate our sentences becomes a means of communication. Even our voice inflection in our statement.

Think about the importance of a comma in this little note: A naval wife asked the church to pray, “John Anderson, having gone to sea, his wife desires the prayers of the congregation for his safety.” When read without the first two commas: “John Anderson having gone to see his wife, desires the prayers of the congregation for his safety.” (Joe LoMusio, If I Should Die Before I Live)

One of the ways we complete our husband is through our communication. Men communicate differently than women. When we say to him, “Let’s sit on the couch and talk,” he gets really nervous. He needs to know if we have a subject, how long it is going to take, and if he will need to resolve it. Many times we just want to “talk,” but he needs direction.

When he shares with us, we need to encourage him with our complete enthusiastic attention and to listen with interest. He wants our undivided attention. He doesn’t appreciate it when we are preoccupied with folding clothes, watching TV, talking on the phone, or other distractions while he is trying to share his life with us. And he doesn’t appreciate it when we jump to conclusions or make assumptions as he is talking.

Communication takes planning:

· Develop shared interests.

· Develop friendships with other couples who are likeminded.

· Plan time together.

· Speak the truth in love and with grace (careful).

· Introduce negative subjects tactfully through giving facts, thoughts, ideas, intuitions, and opinions – never feelings.

If we communicate intentionally we will encourage and build up our husband to love and good work. Learning to communicate effectively is like singing a new song in his ears.

I ask myself:

1. Do I intentionally communicate with him?
2. Do I spend time with the Lord in His Word so He can instruct me in obedience?
3. Does my  love for God manifest itself to my sweetheart?

Marriage is “Joy unspeakable and full of glory.”

Nahum 1:7 God is good!

I was thinking … Although we were not Christians when we married, we had a belief that our vows were before the Lord God and we took them serious. I didn’t know at the time that to be a godly wife meant I was promising to complete him. I thought I could change him to fit for my style. One of the things many women marry thinking is that she’ll change him. Men marry hoping she will not change. Our completing him doesn’t mean we’ll change him. It means we will assist him in becoming the very best he can be. One way we can complete him is to give honest and good solid praise and affirmation. Never fake! He can tell fake a mile away. He wants our acknowledging of his “job well done” more than anyone else’s. When I hear my sweetheart boasting about something he has accomplished, I know, “Oops I haven’t been affirming him enough.” I was thinking … how selfish when I don’t want to give him what is rightly his just because I might not “feel” like it. See more in Brides. Oh that I might be found faithful in loving my sweetheart as God loves me. I suggest wives try praising and affirming and sit quietly and watch the transformation. I was just thinking …

Psalm 97:1,11,12 (NAS)

The LORD reigns, let the earth rejoice; Let the many islands be glad. Light is sown like seed for the righteous and gladness for the upright in heart. Be glad in the LORD, you righteous ones, and give thanks to His holy name.

He is sanctifying us wholly, body, soul, and spirit. He is working His will in us. As wives one way He will do this is through our marriage.

L – listening when another is speaking,

O – overlooking petty faults and forgiving all failures;

V – valuing other people for who they are;

E – expressing love in a practical way. (Denis Waitley, Seeds of Greatness)

When we place our hand in our husband’s at the wedding altar, we are saying that we are leaving our family with all its familiarity and joining with this man in what we think to be familiar. We are becoming one flesh (Genesis 2:24), and we are agreeing that no one shall separate us (Matthew 19:6). We honestly do want our love to be genuine; to hate evil, to hold fast to what is good, to love him and out-do him in showing honor, never lacking in zeal, being ardent in spirit, serving the Lord, rejoicing in hope, patient and persevering in prayer (Romans 12:9-12). A godly goal.

One of the things we innately promise at the altar is to complete him. Women marry thinking she’ll change him. Men marry hoping she will not change. Our completing him doesn’t mean we’ll change him. It means we will assist him in becoming the very best he can be.

One of the ways we complete him is to affirm and praise him. Regularly affirm what we know about him. Only affirm what is true – never fake. He can tell when we are giving fake praise and will see it as manipulation. When we find out that he has completed a task worthy of recognition in his work, let us be quick to give our praise for a job well done. Our husband can be praised by the President of his company, even the U.S. but he waits longingly for us to say, “Good job.”

We may think he will become puffed up and arrogant if we affirm him often, but we can be sure the opposite is true (1 John 3:17, 22-24). When we hear our husband brag about himself or boast about himself, that is a sure sign he needs more affirmation from us. In His love, we love him.

A wise person once said, you can’t talk sense to two human beings rushing towards each other at the speed of light. We don’t think clearly before marriage living in the “love” zone, of what it means to complete him. It is after the vows are said and the veil is lifted that the reality of living together in holy matrimony becomes a reality.

I ask myself:

1. Am I finding honest ways to praise him?
2. Am I allowing God to change him and not trying to do it myself?
3. Am I doing all I can to complete him?

Marriage is “Joy unspeakable and full of glory.”

Nahum 1:7 God is good!