I was thinking about the bride who had become so cold to her hurt in her marriage that she could not cry one more tear. She had cried so much during the early years of marriage that by 20+ years she had learned to be cold and almost indifferent. Indifferent is scarier than cold. Cold we can warm. Indifferent is a point of simply not caring. How did it happen? What had her prince charming done that was so painful she could no longer care? I grieve this bride. There may be times in each brides pilgrimage where she may feel like giving up. I am reminded in Psalm 137 that Brides have the freedom to cry out to the Lord in times of distress. I recommend that after seeking the Lord’s comfort, she call a godly mentor (a Titus 2 woman) and ask for prayer and perhaps commit to a Bible study with this mentor. So many times she embarks on a plan to change him. Whew! That old axiom again comes to life: We can’t change others, we can’t control others. We can change ourselves and we can control ourselves. With this statement I am not saying she is the only culpable party. No! I am saying she can receive help in growing strong in the Lord and His promises that she can again grieve with tears the marriage she so desperately desires. Jesus as our example said He trust no man (John 2:24,,25). We are to trust God to work in our lives not our husband to make us happy. I have found that the workbook Trusting God by Jerry Bridges is a wonderful tool for guiding us back to the wonderful truths about trusting God. It reminds us of who God is and helps us understand His sovereignty in very practical ways. See more under Brides, Psalm 137.

Psalm 137: 1 [NAS]

By the rivers of Babylon, there we sat down and wept, when we remembered Zion.

“You that are called born of God, and Christians, if you be not criers, there is no spiritual life in you.” John Bunyan

There can be times in the life of a bride when she feels overwhelmed and too sad to sing praises to God. There truly are seasons of life that have great disappointments and defeats. Some brides have become so discouraged that they have hardened their hearts to even crying one more tear as a means of controlling the hurt and pain.

Hebrews 4:14-16 tells us that God understands all of our burdens, our disappointments and defeats. Because He understands, we can come BOLDLY to the throne of grace to receive mercy in our time of need. Praise His wonderful name!

Brides have the freedom to cry out to the Lord in times of distress. After seeking the Lord’s comfort, we can call a godly mentor (a Titus 2 woman) and ask for prayer and perhaps commit to a Bible study with this mentor. The workbook Trusting God by Jerry Bridges is a wonderful tool for guiding us back to the wonderful truths about trusting God. It reminds us of who God is and helps us understand His sovereignty in very practical ways.

Deuteronomy 31:8 (NIV) says, “The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.” Amen!

It is a choice to follow God and apply His word to our lives. “If you choose not to decide you still have made a choice.” – Neil Peart

I ask myself:

1. Do I allow my own suffering to stifle my deliverance unto the Lord?

2. Do I have a godly older woman who can be my Titus 2 mentor?

3. Am I making godly choices?

Marriage is “Joy unspeakable and full of glory.” Nahum 1:7 God is good!